Life

Here is the skinny as they say. I both love and hate my job. Right now it is more of a hate. It has been a long summer and I am just burned out. Working 7 days a week is tough on me and I won't lie about that. The last day I wasn't at work was back in April when we were closed for my Grandpa's funeral. As it stands right now, I will have been at work 361 days out of 365 this year. Now you can see how easy it is to get fed up with work. It also sucks because this is a retail store and I have to be nice and polite every day to people I would rather just punch in the face. Also, my hours at work suck. I work at least 8 till 6 every day. This makes for a long week, especially when I have to stay later than that. Sad thing is that from here until Thanksgiving my hours get extended and that is all that gets extended. I am just expected to work longer and harder because it is beneficial to the business. I hate it. I am tired of it. I am very seriously thinking about telling my dad to shove it and walking away. I am there. There has to be more to life than the life I am living. I don't think we are suppose to work all the time and not enjoy the wonders all around us. There are really two problems for me from here.

First is the major problem. I don't know if I really can leave. I know I can quit and walk away and that there is nothing my dad can do to stop that. That isn't my problem. My problem is that I care too much and feel too responsible. Let me explain, but I can really only scratch the surface. I do everything here for the most part. The IRS, State of Colorado, the bank, or any of our vendors call and they talk to me, not my father who owns the business. Legally I can't even sign a check on the business account, but I handle everything for the business. Isn't that screwed up? I know how things would run if I left. I spent years straightening things out and I know they will revert as soon as I leave. I don't want that on my conscience. We have a busy and thriving business (I thank GOD for it). Two of us who have been doing this for a while sometimes have a rough time handling everything. I know my dad, he won't cut back and this will only add stress to an overweight 60 year old man. That worries me. As much as I hate my job, I would hate worse for me to leave and then my dad get sick or worse because I left and he tried to do the whole thing by himself. I see that happening and that has kept me here and kept me from moving many times. Why I feel responsible is beyond me, but I do and I still can't shake it. If I could get over that one hurdle I would be gone. As much as I want to leave, I can't. That means I will probably be here hating things until who knows when.

Second issue. If I were to walk out of the business and leave it high and dry, I would have to move out of Colorado and I really don't want to do that and I don't know if I even can. I love this state and I love the cold weather and I know I couldn't handle a hotter climate that I would have to move to. No matter what I was doing, if I was in this town or even the state, I would get drawn and sucked back into things. Distance, as in miles between us, would be the only thing that would keep that from happening. The heart wrenching thing is that I really am contemplating moving. All of you know where I would move to, which state at least.

There is a third issue. I don't have a clue what I would do for employment. In all honesty I have been my own boss for so long that I don't know if I could subjugate my will to someone else's easily. I speak my mind and let the chips fall where they may these days. Where I am, there really is no one above me. This also means that my pay grade is higher now and I would probably have to take a cut in pay. That isn't so much of an issue to me though. I could definitely take a pay cut if I lost some responsibilities and not have to deal with some of the crap I have to deal with. This crap gets on my nerves and I am tired of dealing with it. I guess it could come with working as much as I do for 8 + years. The lack of free time and then the little free time I have is really starting to eat away at what is left of my soul. The reality is that all of the people I care about (except my parents) and the people I really think of as friends, are so far away from me and I am missing out on some important things and events in their lives. What also doesn't help is that there is no selection of quality women up here to seek out. We won't go into that today. As you can all tell my life and my emotions are in a tail spin and in turmoil.

The Last Legion

I saw this clip on the television and I have to admit that I am dying to see this movie. I am curious to see what you think of this movie and to see what you guys think it will do. I have to admit that I will be in the theatre to see it when it comes out. Yeah, probably by myself but at least I can enjoy it that much more.

Everytime I watch it, It makes me laugh

The title really says it all. I don't know how many times I have seen this clip. I watched it first a few days ago on G4's "Attack of the Show" and I have watched it countless times again on youtube.com. I just love it. I hope you enjoy. The wobble is awesome. Watch, laugh, and understand.

Pathfinder

This post is mainly for Blair Thomas. He asked me about this movie because he never heard of it and I thoroughly enjoy it.

It is about time!!

I know, I know that I have been really bad about blogging. I tend to blog in spurts. Sometimes I blog often and then there are the majority of times when I don't blog for months. I have to be honest. July sucked and I am glad it is August. I know it is just another day, but my outlook for August is bright. July started off fine and well enough and then the bottom fell out. First thing that hit me from no where and left me wondering what was going on was that I found out that Tiffany is married. Even better is that she got married sometime last year, before she called and got back in touch with me. Even better, she still hasn't told me that she is married. I think she is in denial and might not like being married to the guy she married. Here is the kicker. Mr. and Mrs. Levenger were in town and came to the business and chatted both my dad and I up for about 30 minutes. They didn't tell me then. I, being the guy I am offered to take Mr. Levenger fishing on some private water and he took me up on it. He kept talking about Aaron, I think or Eric I am not sure, so finally while he was fishing and I was talking to Mrs. Levenger I asked her what was going on. That is when I found out. She was shocked that I didn't know and wasn't happy that her daughter hadn't told me. Here is some disturbing info. Tiffany still to this day tells me she loves me and goes into in great deal how much she loves me. She also tells me that I am her best friend. I am doing my best to back out of this "rock and a hard place" I am in. I don't like being in the middle and I definitely don't want to come between her and her husband. I have cut way back on how much I talk to her, but that isn't stopping her. She calls and texts still.

On July 11Th, 2 Jehovah's Witnesses came onto my posted "Keep Out" and "Beware of Dog" property. Well, after trespassing and provoking Thor and not leaving, Thor bit one of them. I had a court date on the 11Th to get my dog out of jail and then yesterday I had the trial. Thankfully, the judge and I agreed and saw things the same and I was found not guilty. I was in court for 30 minutes and my lawyer was myself. That is all I am going to say about this topic, if you want to ask me more, email me. I have to admit that the Internet helped my research tremendously.

There were more things that made July horrible, but I am not going into them. The Internet is such an open and public place and I don't know who actually reads this stupid thing. Discretion is the better part of valour.

I get my Blu-Ray copy of 300 tomorrow and I will watch it over and over and over again. I can't wait. That is going to be all that I watch this weekend. Cranking up the stereo and letting her roar. Good night and good luck.