Where do we finish?

There is that old saying that "Nice people always finish last". Why is this? I know it is true because I have seen it in friends and other people. To admit it, most people tell me that I fit into that category also. This may be true and there is proof to back it up. I was out last night with some friends that are also co-workers and a mutual friend was there also. We were bowling and they were drinking. The odd part about this is that she came up to me later that evening and told me what a nice guy I was. Not that I was interesting in this girl, but it struck me odd that she would come up to me and say that.

Examining things and aspects of my life I do notice that I usually finish close to last. I put people, friends, family, and just about anyone I care slightly about ahead of myself. I would prefer to see them happy and to see them doing well before I even think about myself. Some people say that we are just being un-selfish, but I am starting to wonder if this isn't a marker to show that there is something wrong with us. I have always been a behind the scenes type of person and I have no desire for the spotlight. I do what I do because I care about the people who are involved and running the show. Their success matters more to me than my own. I know that I am loyal to a fault to the people I truly care about. Some people don't understand this and I can't explain it to them. I even have friends that don't understand it and can't except or relate to it. More often than not, I offer a helping hand and it is taken poorly or in the wrong manner. I don't understand it. I also realize that part of it is my problem and there are issues with me. I know I can come across in a completely different manner than I intend. Some of my friends that are female take my helping and generous nature as me trying to change their lives and insert me in a more formal nature. This isn't the case. All I try to do is help them out and be there for them and sometimes I lose their friendship, but in most cases they realize that I am there as a helping hand after they spend more time around me.

I know this has been more of a random and rambling post and I apologize for that. These thoughts are just things I wanted to get off my chest and I welcome any thoughts. Here is a saying I enjoy and try to practice: "A Wise Man Changes His Mind, Where A Fool Never Does". I may be a fool because I still feel it better to put others first and worry about me later.